thesis number 2

The UCF gym is something that the majority of students use on a daily basis or would like to use. People who go to the gym experience something that is rather frustrating; that is how crowded the gym is. The gym is the most crowded place on campus and frankly it’s time for a change. I think there are plenty of things that could be done to fix this problem yet know one chooses to try and solve the problem. I dont think that the gym is small or that there are to few machines because the gym is big and efficient in the workouts it could provide. However the problem is not the size or machines, but rather the amount of people who attend the gym on a daily basis. The UCF gym is overcrowded and is going to get more crowded every year with UCF continuously growing. The gym, while not integral to education, helps with student health and fitness.

Outline

First Paragraph Intro
• I want to introduce the topic in the first paragraph. Explain what the problem is and propose that something needs to be done. I’m going to explain the trend and explain the disappointment with it.
• This paragraph will also contain my thesis statement about the topic.
• My topic is that the gym is consistently getting more crowded.
Second Graph
• I plan to use my questions from drafting and the answers to the questions.
• I will use the interview with my classmate as the first example here in the paragraph. This will help explain the point of view I’m presenting.
• I would like to include reviews if I had any online about the school gym.
Third Paragraph
• I would like to interview an outside source from the class. I’m going to interview my friend who goes to the gym at least 5 times a week. This interview could really push my essay over the top and really make the point more clear.
• I will try to introduce statistics that will back the claim up.
Fourth Paragraph
• Explain more of my opinion on the topic. I will want to go more in depth on how I feel about the trend and recommend the suggestions.
• This paragraph jus leads to the conclusion.
Conclusion
• In the conclusion I am going to include what needs to be done.
• I will also include the closing points and quote from both interviews.

thesis

The UCF gym is something that the majority of students use on a daily basis or would like to use. People who go to the gym experience something that is rather frustrating. That is how crowed the gym is. The gym is the most crowed place on campus and frankly it’s time for a change. I think there are plenty of things that could be done to fix this problem yet know one chooses to try and fix this. The solutions are plenty and the complaints are many there is no reason as to why a plan is not put into action to fix this problem.

Letter

Dear Carlos,

So i have to write the commentary essay for my class and i have decided to write about the UCF gym. The gym is always over crowded and creates many problems for anyone who tries to attend. The machines are always at least a twenty minute wait and makes u cool off in between workouts and sometimes sets. I know that I'm probably overreacting but I'm not the only one complaining. I have been discussing the problem with many other people and they conclude the same thing ass me. Something must be done to fix this problem. Have you experienced any problems at your school gym or even any local gym you go to. Do you have any suggestions that i can maybe recommended to my school. I'm thinking about maybe requiring a membership so that you can know how many people are members and maybe have a team schedule. This will also limit the amount of people who randomly come and take up room with mediocre workouts or just to talk. I mean i have also thought of making they gym larger and maybe making another gym but that would cost alot. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

a persorns response

1. He attends the gym a lot and complains because it is so crowded.
2. He goes to the gym as much as possible and works out as much as possible.
3 no response
4. It would be incredible he says, he would work out a lot more and work efficiently and spend less time in the gym.
5.Because a large population of the school uses the gym and everyone who works out complains about the problem.

I changed my mind for topic 5 questions

1. How many people attend the gym on a daily basis?
2. Is there any plans to increase the size of the gym with all the new and incoming students.
3.Has the the gym gotten more crowed every year??
4. should thier be more restirctions on gym use??
5. Should Ucf make a membership?

I decided to write about the knights email change. UCF has decided to make knights mail the official email system of UCF. The system itself is very efficient but sometimes can cause some problems for students. My opinion is that the system is very effective but I am not a fan of email itself. The general problem with the UCF email for me is that I’m not use to having to look at an email every day of the week and I’m sure that many students are just like me. I had my own personal email that I looked at twice a week. But having to look at one every day sometimes multiple times requires something that people are not using to. This in the end sometimes causes many problems like maybe missing an important announcement. However if I had to take a side I would say it is good and has helped me overall. The system had created countless benefits for me and has helped me stay up to date with all my assignment and tests that must be completed. I really feel that the system has also benefited teachers so they can send mass emails and check with us quickly and within the school. Another thing I like is that professor is easy to contact with the knights mail.